Community Living 101

For those of you who may not have realized this initially by reading this blog, I am living with four other people in the house at Monte Sinai. We all come from different life experiences, different geographical locations, and most importantly, different musical tastes. Well, maybe not all of us have different musical tastes - I have a music buddy in one of my community members, but that´s beside the point. In community, there has to be exchange between the people partaking in it, whether it be with music, or with something deeper. In Christian community, it usually happens in the exchange between faith journies and also prayer. Speaking generally, this can cause tension in whatever Christian community because of the fact that some may be at different points in their spirituality than others. This tension, in community, must be addressed post haste because it can become a toxic part of the community. But this is also the challenge of community: how to bring up tensions and problems within the community in a way that´s constructive and non-accusitory.

One of the most difficult exchanges between people is the exchange of ego. Living in community entails making sure that those people around you in community has a space to be open about their feelings. This, with certitude, takes the form of renouncing some of your own comforts for that of your community. Maybe you don´t like listening to broadway musical´s of the 1940s, but when Sandy decides that this is her favorite type of music you perhaps let her know the discomfort you feel when she puts it on, but you also realize that you have to pick your battles, and just because she´s playing Pal Joey or Kiss me Kate doesn´t mean you can be all snuffy and lock yourself in your room.

This leads to the next point about community living: participation. When you exchange (and even renounce) ego, you have to participate in your other community member´s realities! Sharing faith jornies and other things can´t be done with a grain of salt. These are people´s lives and interestes that they may find dear, and this means that when Sandy has Pal Joey on, you stay in the kitchen and help her make dinner while she´s dancing around to that famous broadway song of Pal Joey that she loves. This not only expands your own boundary of comfort, but it also shows her that you´re willing to participate in her interests and realities, which will, in turn, make her desire to participate in yours - an exchange. Granted, music isn´t the biggest thing, but this applies to everything: sharing faith journies, feelings of happiness or pain, tough conversations about community dynamics, etc.

These are just a few things that I´ve picked up from living in community the past two summers. I´m trying to apply this to my four other community members, and I hope I´m doing a good job. Community is not an easy thing, but all great things are not easy things to work towards. If you ever get the opportunity to live in community, take the chance. And hey, if you´re thinking about getting married at some point, living in community is good practice! At least that´s what married people tell me.